:: Ever wonder? ::

:: Tuesday, December 09, 2003 ::

A gift from Betsy on our third anniversary

A long time ago, I thought I knew what love was.
I thought I knew all about marriage.
Love, I was sure, was all roses and diamonds and sunshine, and
I knew that marriage was even and steady and never bumpy.

Then I found you.

Now I know that I was wrong about both marriage and love.

Marriage is bumpy sometimes. A lot of times it's hard.
Occasionally it isn't very pretty or happy.
(That "sickness or health" thing?
Sometimes that comes up.)
Sometimes snoring, or no money, or mixed signals come up.
And sometimes you even say things you don't mean,
and feel really bad about it later,
and wish you could take it all back.

But when you're married to the only person in the world
whom you should be married to …
well, then it doesn't matter.
The bumps, the tough times, the "sickness or health" …
even the mean things that got yelled.
(You still wish you hadn't said them,
but you know I don't mean them.
Even when I'm saying them.)

I can reach for you in the middle of the night,
or the middle of a scary or romantic movie,
or the middle of a crowd of people,
and I know your hand will be there,
and it will grip my hand just as tightly.

Even when you don't think everything is going to be OK,
you tell me they will.
And I believe you, and I feel better
(even though I know you probably don't believe it either).

Being married to you and in love with you
are the best things that will ever happen to me.
If I hadn't found you, I'd still think I knew all about love and marriage.
But I wouldn't.

I love you. I will always love you.

Even at 3 a.m. when you're snoring and I can't sleep.

(Really. Even then.)

Thank you for showing me every day what love and marriage are.
Thank you for loving me and for marrying me
and for giving me Andrew
and for always holding my hand.

:: PokemonGuy101 8:50 AM [+] ::
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Overheard quote of the day:

"I'm out of hormones, and I have a gun."

I'm outta here.
:: PokemonGuy101 3:39 PM [+] ::
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My new favorite quote.

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe."

-- Albert Einstein

Evidence to follow?
:: PokemonGuy101 1:03 AM [+] ::
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OK, Summer is over: It's snowing here in the Great White North, and I feel like hibernating. Must be a recessive gene or something.

What a fantastic Summer/early Fall we had. Aside from a magical trip to NYC, which happened to be on my birthday, our annual series of treks to the Minnesota Renaissance Festival, apple harvesting, and lots of stuff I mentioned when I was actually keeping up on my blogging, we made three concerts on our "Must see but don't think we ever will" list. Steely Dan, The Eagles, and Simon and Garfunkel. Hell didn't just freeze over, it froze solid. Of the three, I'd be hard pressed to pick a favorite. The Eagles was the best show, and it was obvious that they were having a blast. S & G was by far the most emotional; Betsy wasn't the only one weeping. My first album ever was "Bridge over Troubled Water," recovered from my parents moldy collection. I guess they didn't quite get the '60s.

Last night, we carved Andrew's first jack-o-lantern. He was enchanted with the "gutting" of the thing, but lost interest in the carving portion. He decided that it was pretty cool that it had a candle inside, however. Overall, it was a hit - Even if the inside of the pumpkin was too gooey to touch. We're all looking forward to Halloween, despite a less-than-perfect weather forecast. Low 40s and rain/snow showers. I guess it's been worse.

I'm so happy for Betsy having her new job! YAY!! She's really found a niche, one which she's VERY adept at and most of all, enjoys. The guys she's working for seem to be scrupulously honest, fair, and by all accounts, good to work for.

I'll try to do better at keeping up.
:: PokemonGuy101 12:54 PM [+] ::
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How did August get here so fast?!
:: PokemonGuy101 11:12 AM [+] ::
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Hee hee. The weather didn't permit ... God help us if we have a fire.
:: PokemonGuy101 2:38 PM [+] ::
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Life in Corporate America.

The company I work for is having an "Emergency Facility Evacuation and Weather Alert Drill" this coming Thursday.

(Weather permitting)

If we ever have a fire during a tornado, we're in deep shit.
:: PokemonGuy101 11:35 AM [+] ::
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My 12 year-old son recently had a friend visit overnight. While sitting in the living room, their benign pre-teen discussion quickly caught my attention; they were discussing a song they had heard called Camel Toe. Before I could raise an objection as to "just what the hell kind of music are you listening to," my son's friend piped up with "My mom has the biggest camel toe you've ever seen!"

By the time my wife and I finally caught our collective breath, self-administered heimlich maneuvers, and quit rolling on the floor like gasping carp, we found the two boys were looking at us with stunned bemusement. The lad went on to explain - "You should see it, it sticks out way past her big toe! (More gasping, CPR, etc.) Finally we learned that he was talking about her actual toe, the second one to be exact...

To protect the innocent, this specific event never actually occurred in my presence, I paraphrased it from a radio show caller I heard the other morning. In truth, I damn near wrecked I was laughing so hard.
:: PokemonGuy101 11:47 AM [+] ::
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We had a great 4th of July weekend! We spent most of our evenings at the Taste of Minnesota; stuffing our faces, listening to free concerts, and best of all, spectacular fireworks, which Andrew was extremely taken with. For the first few minutes, he sat in Betsy's lap. Absolutly motionless he was. Eyes as big as saucers. After a bit, he got more daring, and moved to my lap, and began to point to them, making commentary. By the end of the show, he was in his own chair, still captivated, waving his arms in a big circle. BOOM! Crackle, crackle. On the second night, he was ooing and ahhing along with the rest of us.

Some of the concerts we saw: The Knack, (Far and away the best.) Maynard Ferguson, (Still has his lips.) The Temptations (Lousy stage...) and The Romantics. (They had a hit, right?)

Next week, the operetta "H.M.S. Pinnafore." Best of all, it's free.
:: PokemonGuy101 3:48 PM [+] ::
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I ran across a marvelous article on the Star Tribune web site. It's titled "Defending the right not to have a nice day." Ever get tired of people telling you to "Have a nice dayyyyy." George Carlin, once one of America's greatest curmudgeons had a great bit about "Having a nice day." Too bad he's become such a parody of himself, now he's just an old asshat. Anyway, here's a quote from the article:

Indeed, these are tough times for America's cranks, complainers and curmudgeons. Maybe Americans aren't in the mood for pessimism because so much is genuinely wrong. And in a culture dominated by the relentlessly cheery ethos of the self-help movement, grumps and contrarians are frequently dismissed as mildly delusional, or worse, viewed as malignancies that must be isolated and cut out.

Great, now I feel like a tumor. I like this part of the article in particular. We cranks have been driven underground, complaining is for wussies, and to be a curmudgeon is just plain NUTS. HA! Read on.

"It's telling people there's one way to be -- smile, be positive," she said. "First you feel bad, then you're told you're defective for not being cheerful about it." Held added that the pervasive feeling that iconoclastic ideas are unhealthy may be depriving younger Americans of what she called "the right nutrients to grow a curmudgeonly attitude."

The first question that came to *my* sick mind when I read this passage was: OK, just what ARE the right nutrients for growing a curmudgeonly attitude? Hmm. Time to get youngsters drinking strong black coffee, chain smoking, and chewing on rusty nails I think. If that doesn't make you gnarly, nothing will. But I like her angle. These positive touchy-feely types tell us "Feel good because you feel bad!" SMILE! Phooey. When I feel bad, I want to feel bad, get your smiley face away from me! Grrr. Another excerpt.

In laboratory studies, she said, she has found that defensive pessimists can do better at everything from puzzles to throwing darts if they are allowed to engage in anxious worrying beforehand. Show the pessimists a nice relaxing nature video before the tasks, and they do worse. The lesson, Norem said, is not that everyone should be negative, but rather, that pessimists and curmudgeons should get in touch with their inner negativity and embrace it.

YES! To hell with "finding your inner child," Cranky Pants' unite! Grab your inner curmudgeon and turn that smile upside down.

Have what ever kind of day you want.
:: PokemonGuy101 11:16 AM [+] ::
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YAY! We have another member of the blogging community - Betsy's friend Cindy has taken the bold leap into electronic journaling ... Long may she blog!
:: PokemonGuy101 11:24 AM [+] ::
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Andrew is becoming quite the independent cuss these days. This morning he insisted on walking down the stairs all by himself. It's fascinating and terrifying all at the same time. Watching him grow into his own person is astounding. I never tire of it. (OK, sometimes he wears me down to a nub ...)

This is Betsy's last week at the Business Journal. They are going to regret not hiring her, especially in light of the person they DID hire. He apparently has a degree in Philosophy; I dubbed him "Socrates," which seems to have caught on in the newsroom. I half expect a frantic phone call from His Dirkness (the boss) next Monday morning when Socrates decides not to show up. I'm sure there will be a good reason, steeped in philosophical babble. Saving that, I give him three months. Cynical old cuss, I am. It won't be long before Betsy finds something else, of that I'm sure. Things happen for a reason, though that reason isn't always readily apparent. Ever have the feeling something is staring you in the face, and all you can see is an outline? What's that saying about not seeing the forest for the trees? :-)

Annoying bits ----

Our e-mail is changing. Our provider was purchased by Comcast. New e-mail is kipperdoodle@comcast.net

People that just don't get it. Rather like a mosquito you can hear buzzing in your ear, but can't quite manage to smack. Damn thing just won't go away ....

SPAM. The electronic AND the kind made by Hormel. (No, I didn't describe it as "edible.")

News reports/editorials about WMD. Knock it off, already.

Neighbors that stare at you every time you walk by.

Oven mitt commercials.

Cranky retail clerks.

Mosquitoes.

:: PokemonGuy101 11:03 AM [+] ::
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Being the nosy person that I am, combined with the fact that I actually have ears, I frequently overhear bits of conversations that are really none of my business. That doesn't keep me from listening, however. :-) Tidbits overheard recently...

"...I don't know what's wrong with my ankles, look, they're all swollen...." TMI.

"...OK, I'm headed back, I'll ping you later and we can touch base." What the hell??

"...and we can leverage assets from the telco group to build synergy..." Barf.

"...my husband is such an asshole." Nice, real nice. Does hubby know that?

In regard to a proposed headline for a column in the Business Journal. Betsy wrote the original headline, which read something like: "New housing options for us airplane geeks." Her boss' rational for rejecting the headline:

"...I didn't feel like I was asking geeks to stick together. I felt like I was pointing at someone and saying, 'You're a geek." Can we say humor deficient? )My apologies to Betsy for mangling her original headline, but you get the point.)

"...They got you working today? HA HA HA HA ...." HA HA HA HA. Christ. Hackneyed doesn't come close.

Have any of these you want to share? E-mail me!

:: PokemonGuy101 10:45 AM [+] ::
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Betsy took me to brunch at Copeland's yesterday for Father's day; it was absolutely marvelous! Betsy had a cajun omlette, I had their superb version of Eggs Benedict and steak. It always seems decadent to eat steak for breakfast. After that we went and sat by the river at a spot we went on one of our first dates. It was very romantic. :-) They also gave me the new Steely Dan CD - YOU MUST RUN OUT AND BUY IT! RIGHT NOW! It's amazingly good. They also gave me a CD of songs used in TV commercials, which is also extremely good. It's fun to try and figure out which products they were used to hype.

After our sojourn, we stopped and picked up a wading pool for Andrew, who was extremely excited to give it a try, though the water was somewhere between freezing and sub-zero. Kids are amazing little critters, nothing fazes them. We pomised him a swim when he gets home from school today. The water should be a bit warmer, and his dad won't be abject to joining him.

OK, more obscure stuff.

83. I rarely read horoscopes, and don't put much stock in them. Many years ago, I read one that warned me to beware of fire. That evening, we had a fire in my boat. The running lights had shorted; I carried the horoscope in my pocket for years afterward.

84. The only bone in my body I've ever broken is my tailbone - Juming off a swing.

85. I'm left handed, but I golf right handed. Must have a wire crossed in there somewhere. More than one, actually ...

86. I'm colorblind.

87. I'm terrified of heights, but I love to fly.

:: PokemonGuy101 3:58 PM [+] ::
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OK, OK, it's been forever since I've posted. I don't hear many people clamoring. :-)

My Mother had an accident (she fell in the bathrooom) a couple days ago, and is in the hospital in Rochester, MN. Hopefully she'll be out soon, and mend quickly. Thanks to all of you that have sent wishes of well. :-)
:: PokemonGuy101 1:28 PM [+] ::
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In keeping with the tradition of not having an original thought in my head, I'm following Betsy's lead, and beginning my own "100 things about me." Now, where to start....

88. The sailing class I was in as a ten year old, rescued Buddy Ebson's catamaran from the Newport harbor when it's engine failed. Yes, he was wearing a business suit.

89. The very first night we spent in California in our new house, LA was visited by a rare ourbreak of thunderstorms. We all thought the weather was supposed to be *nice* in California. It was actually a very pleasant greeting, being from Minnesota, it felt like home.

90. In the third grade, I was stabbed in the stomach with a #2 pencil. I still have the scar. I never did know if the girl did it on purpose or not.

91. I was married for the first time when I was 19. (!!!!)

92. I was successfully married when I was 38.

93. I experienced a M 6.6 earthquake when I was eight. The Sylmar quake, Feb 9, 1971 6:01 in the morning. I don't really remember much about it. (Yeah, right.) One of the things I remember most is that the Pasadena freeway collapsed. A recently opened, and oft-travelled segment. We had been on it the day before. We were living in Glendora, CA at the time.

94. I graduated college Magna cum Laude from the prestigous National College. I somehow also got listed in "Who's Who in American Colleges and Universities." Go figure.

95. The first "real" school I attended was Hancock Elementary. It's now a magnet school, what ever the hell that is.

96. By the time I was 14, my family had moved eight times. No, I wasn't a military brat, just the regular kind.

97. I once attended a school in California, where we were known as the "Trojans." And no, it was not UCLA.

98. As a child, I once jumped into a lift in Dayton's. My mother says she could hear me screaming all the way down to lingere.

99. My Mother used to put me on a leash when we went to the beach. She tied it onto my lifejacket. (Actually, it was more of a life "doughnut.")

100. When I was four, I fell from a second floor landing. Good thing I landed on my head.

:: PokemonGuy101 4:01 PM [+] ::
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I just couldn't resist this one, so I Blaired it from Dave Barry's Blog:

"Sheila Denault of Larimore, North Dakota ("30 miles west of Grand Forks") emails as follows:

You know what party game women like to play in North Dakota? Butt Darts! How to play - you insert a quarter between your cheeks [ you can do this with clothes ON, if they're not too tight] , walk a pre-determined distance [like 20 or 30 feet] with quarter held tight, then drop your change into a bar glass [ shot glass if you have really good aim]. You do this 2 people at a time, unless you have a big crowd, then you could do more."



--How many "Butt Dart" sessions do you suppose it takes the average N. Dakotan to figure out that you can play it with your clothes ON?

--Do they have tournaments? Leagues? Are there prizes?

--What do they do with the quarters when they're done with them? What happens if you get them mixed up?

--How tight is "too tight?"

--What if the quarter doesn't drop? Is it cheating to use your hands?


Betsy FLATLY denies being the North Dakota "Butt Dart" champion. Much to my relief.

Oh, and whatever you do, DO NOT Google "Butt Darts...." You have been warned.
:: PokemonGuy101 1:33 PM [+] ::
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OK, I'm clearly creatively bankrupt when this is the only thing I can think of to blog. As Dave Barry might say, this blog apologizes for it's shortcomings.
:: PokemonGuy101 3:52 PM [+] ::
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ALERT! Mysterious Clock Circles are appearing in peoples blogs! Aliens suspected!
:: PokemonGuy101 10:14 AM [+] ::
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Knowing what a sensitive and caring person I am, (Pay no attention to the Dante's Inferno test results below.) Betsy ordered me a very cool PeTA t-shirt! I don't think, however, the group known as "People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals" would care much for it. This one comes with fine print - "People for the Eating of Tasty Animals." Someone is going to dump a bucket of red paint on my head, I just know it.
:: PokemonGuy101 3:53 PM [+] ::
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Yet more proof that the only people who run around in the nude are the ones who really, really shouldn't.
:: PokemonGuy101 3:11 PM [+] ::
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Oh hell.

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished me to the Second Level of Hell!
This is how I matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	High
Level 7 (Violent)	Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	High

You too can take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test
:: PokemonGuy101 11:06 AM [+] ::
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Warning! Salvation ahead: America's Best Christian: Mrs. Betty Bowers
:: PokemonGuy101 4:04 PM [+] ::
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Betsy has blogged a list of things that she doesn't care much for. (I was extremely pleased not to see "My Husband" included in her list.) Since I don't have a creative bone left in my body, I thought I'd make a list from a male perspective.

Birkenstocks n' socks No more need be said. Birkenstocks by themselves are bad enough. (Apologies to any of my Birkenstock-wearing friends.)

Speaker phones Well, they have their uses, it's mostly idiots that use them. All the time. For every call. Loudly. Also to check their voice mail. I really don't need to hear that so-and-so's colonoscopy came back "negative."

Irregardless GRRRRRRRRRR!

Rude service people I'm sorry you're having a bad day, but don't you dare take it out on me. I didn't pick your profession, nor did I whiz (Well, not usually.) on your Wheaties. You're being paid to be congenial, if not pleasant.

Women who wear knee-high stockings with skirts Oops, stole that one from Betsy. But it really is gross.

Time to go pick up Andrew (Who doesn't as of yet have a blog of his own.) More later.
:: PokemonGuy101 5:06 PM [+] ::
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I KNEW these guys weren't relatives. Well, not mine anyway ...
:: PokemonGuy101 4:18 PM [+] ::
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If you buy ground round at a grocery store called Roundy's, what, exactly are you getting?

That's it, I'm NEVER eating at the Ground Round again.


:: PokemonGuy101 4:35 PM [+] ::
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This explains EVERYTHING. (Well, most things anyway.)

MN Statues 2003

14.5534 Statement of purpose - "Taking a joke."

Minnesota residents are forbidden from "taking a joke"

(1) Residents MUST take everything seriously. Not taking everything seriously is in violation of Minnesota law
(a) Punishable by fine or imprisonment, depending on how well the resident "took the joke."
(b) Public is encouraged to rat-out "joke takers."

(2) The purpose of this statute is to make sure NO resident maintains an iota of humor.

In accomplishing its objectives, the intention of this statute is to strike a fair balance between these purposes and the need for efficient, economical, and effective government administration. The chapter is not meant to alter the substantive rights of any person or agency. Its impact is limited to procedural rights with the expectation that better substantive results will be achieved in the everyday conduct of state government by improving the process by which those results are attained.

:: PokemonGuy101 3:35 PM [+] ::
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Bzzzzzzzzz. Ugh, mosquito time is here. For the six people who actually read this, a friend of mine sent some tips for keeping the little blood suckers at bay:

Use Bounce Fabric Softener Sheets...Best thing ever used in Louisiana...just wipe on & go...Great for Babies

Bob, a fisherman, takes one vitamin B-1 tablet a day April through October. He said it works. He was right. Hasn't had a mosquito bite in 33 years. Try it. (Supposedly everyone he has talked into trying it works on them. Vitamin B-1 (Thiamine Hydrochloride 100 mg.) )

If you eat bananas, the mosquitoes like you--something about the banana oil as your body processes it. Stop eating bananas for the summer and the mosquitoes will be much less interested.

This is going to floor you, but one of the best insect repellents someone found (who is in the woods every day), is Vick's Vaporub.

"Tough guy" Marines who spend a great deal of time "camping out" say that the very best mosquito repellant you can use is Avon Skin-So-Soft bath oil mixed about half and half with alcohol.

E-Mail me if any of these work for you, or if you have any other tips.


:: PokemonGuy101 9:04 AM [+] ::
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Coincidence? I'm skeptible.
:: PokemonGuy101 3:30 PM [+] ::
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Betsy reminded me today that it's been a while since I've blogged. Is the world getting so boring that there's nothing to write? Gosh, I hope not. Maybe it's me that's getting boring. Yikes.

I heard a new buzzwhackable (Is that a word? Who cares.) word today - "Non-goal." As in "We're going to non-goal item 5 on the checklist." Or "things we don't want to do. English is such a cool language.
:: PokemonGuy101 3:11 PM [+] ::
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Where the heck did I put that high-intensity lamp??

Yahoo! News - Bright Light May Boost Testosterone in Men
:: PokemonGuy101 3:09 PM [+] ::
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Mah na Mah na indeed! This catchy little tune was orignally written by Piero Umiliani in 1967, and made famous by the Muppets in 1977. The mindless little ditty has a dark side, however. It was apparently orignally written for a Swedish porn film. Here's a link.

We gotta find that film!
:: PokemonGuy101 11:17 AM [+] ::
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Hey, PETA! Don't you know vegetables are DANGEROUS?
:: PokemonGuy101 3:21 PM [+] ::
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I DON"T DO EARTH DAY.
:: PokemonGuy101 5:54 PM [+] ::
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Being a smoker(!) in this, the age of PC Run Amok, (Not the desktop kind.) life can sometimes get a little complicated; I sometimes feel I should be huddling in a closet, one watery-eye peeled for the stogie cops. OK, it hasn't gotten that bad yet, but I hear legislation is pending. Bodily function control legislation can't be far behind: "Excuse me, Mr. Sundquist, would you mind coming with me? We noticed you have effluvium in excess of state limits." Only one of the risks of living in a state where nothing is allowed. Especially if it's fun. I digress. (Gosh, I hope that's still legal.)

On our way to the car this morning, we were greeted with a Post it! (Registered trademark 3M corp., Maplewood MN, 55109 all rights reserved, shall not be used ...) note pasted to our car, along with a carefully-aligned row of dead cigarette butts, neatly taped to the hood. The note, quite politely I thought, said "Please place these in the garbage, they're unsightly." Now, I understand the sentiment - Cigarette butts are UGLY. Not as ugly as say, fish guts, but they are rather gross. The anonymous note-leaver had a point - I really shouldn't leave my butts laying around for everyone to look at. Very un-PC. Nobody wants to see my dead butts strewn about the communal driveway. I really should be more sensitive and caring, I am, after all, a sensitive caring male. I don't mind being scolded for depositing disgusting, disease-ridden, evil, smelly butts laying around. Quite the contrary, I appreciate the efforts of those concerned for the scenic beauty of our shared residences. Now to my point. YES! I do have a point!

Don't tape bloody cigarette butts to our bloody car!!! Come knock on the door! Tell me IN PERSON you think my behavior is FOUL, DISGUSTING, and CAUSES VISUAL DISTRESS! Quit being a coward. I don't like butts being taped to our car; It offends me, and I have every bit the right to be offended as the person who doesn't like disgusting butts laying around for everyone to see.

The next time I see the neighbors daughters sunning themselves in a public area, I will remind them that nobody should have to look at disgusting butts. Even a smoker like me.
:: PokemonGuy101 5:46 PM [+] ::
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CAUTION: Not for the faint of heart ...

I really could have gone ALL DAY without seeing THIS.

Thanks to my TRUE friend, Mike ...


:: PokemonGuy101 1:02 PM [+] ::
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Betsy recently brought my attention to something I've been absolutely craving for most of my adult life. Of course, I didn't know I was craving it. Anyway, here's an irresistible gift idea that's sure to be a crowd pleaser.

Many, um, thanks to Dave Barry. And Betsy, of course. :-)





:: PokemonGuy101 10:47 AM [+] ::
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OK, same site, different page, but it's a hoot! One of these days, I'll get creative. Really.

Really!
:: PokemonGuy101 12:03 PM [+] ::
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Whenever I get the urge to know how many times a day Frank Sinatra changed his underwear, I visit This site. (Though I'm not sure I believe all of it, see the reference to Starbucks. That's a bit of a stretch.)
:: PokemonGuy101 11:08 AM [+] ::
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Ikea (A huge home furnishing store based in Sweden) recently announced it will open a store at the MOA. (That's Mall of America for those of you in Yorba Linda.) I wonder if they will come up with an American version of this.
:: PokemonGuy101 10:43 AM [+] ::
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Now that I've had time to think about it, it's probably a good thing we don't call the season Vern rather than Spring ...

"Man, what a nasty Vern!"
"Remember how hot last Vern was?"
"When's the last time we have a decent Vern?" (Don't think too hard about this one...)
"I've had enough of this Vern to last a lifetime!"

And ... "Vern ahead, Fall back" just plain doesn't work.

:: PokemonGuy101 4:21 PM [+] ::
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Oh yeah, THIS is why we live here!!
:: PokemonGuy101 3:34 PM [+] ::
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Call me insensitive, but I have to admit this issue has never caused me to lose sleep. It does however, make me realize I was born in the wrong country ...
:: PokemonGuy101 10:48 AM [+] ::
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Now here's a twist - A rock band that sounds like a good book: "Theory of a Deadman."

I'll have to read that sometime.
:: PokemonGuy101 11:05 PM [+] ::
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Now that I think about it, "Psychic Fair" would be a good name for a rock band ...
:: PokemonGuy101 11:05 AM [+] ::
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I saw a hand-printed sign on a lonely country road today proclaiming a "Psychic Fair" With an arrow pointing down an even lonelier country road. I see an old barn, badly in need of a little TLC, with rows of metal chairs. (You know the kind, cold, gray, very uncomfortable, and ubiquitous to Lutheran church basements.) People are lined up outside; handing tickets to a smelly old woman in a faded floral dress. The people shuffle in, find their seats. From somewhere in the disused hayloft comes an announcement: "Ladies and gentlemen, please keep your hands inside the cars, this roller coaster makes violent turns ..."

I can't help but wonder what the going rate is for a psychic roller coaster ride. Would they give your money back if you didn't get it?
:: PokemonGuy101 11:12 PM [+] ::
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I just realized I haven't blogged (excuse me.) in four days! In other words, all month! I'm not sure if that's a commentary on my life, or that I've been otherwise occupied. I fear it's the former rather than the latter. Then again, who really cares if I blog (excuse me again.) or not. So there.

Anyway, our lovely Vern has turned to poo. Did I mention that I hate March? I must have meant April. Sigh. Not 100 miles from here, it's warm, and they're having lovely thunderstorms. Having said that, some trailer park in Iowa no doubt has a large bulls-eye hovering over it; It's a well known meteorological fact that trailer parks actually cause tornadoes. If you have a theory of your own, you can post it here. If you're interested, here's fun game you can play to while away the idle hour.
:: PokemonGuy101 11:32 AM [+] ::
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The old adage holds true! After roaring in, March is departing gracefully. Lordy, I hate March. Why couldn't Maewyn have waited until April to chase the snakes out of Ireland? Sigh.

I hope everyone is having a good Vern! Know what I mean?
:: PokemonGuy101 5:24 PM [+] ::
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Anyone who still believes it's impossible for a man to step on his own, um, "manhood," has obviously never met this man.
:: PokemonGuy101 10:46 AM [+] ::
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Anyone who has e-mail (You know who you are.) has seen the so-called "Stella Awards" for whatever year it happens to be. Those lists are recycled and mass-mailed at least 28 times a year. Funny how the same ones keep cropping up year after year. Will the REAL Stella please stand up!
:: PokemonGuy101 3:35 PM [+] ::
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I can't tell you how often I've said to myself "Gosh, I wish I had one of these."
:: PokemonGuy101 9:03 AM [+] ::
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Colin Powell, being heckled by a former archbishop of Canterbury on the subject of whether Bush is seeking a new American Empire:

“We have gone forth from our shores repeatedly over the last 100 years ... and put wonderful young men and women at risk, many of whom have lost their lives, and we have asked for nothing in return except enough ground to bury the ones whom we cannot bring home."

May not be the exact quote, I've seen several versions, but the idea comes across pretty well.

:: PokemonGuy101 3:41 PM [+] ::
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Some interesting places to while away the "Idle Hour." Check the links below.
:: PokemonGuy101 10:38 AM [+] ::
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ebaynham
:: PokemonGuy101 10:07 AM [+] ::
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The Onion | America's Finest News Source™
:: PokemonGuy101 9:59 AM [+] ::
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The Lair of the Crab of Ineffable Wisdom - a load of stuff by Joel Veitch that will probably crush your will to live
:: PokemonGuy101 4:40 PM [+] ::
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"Master yourself before you attempt to master others."

Wasn't there a Seinfeld episode about that?
:: PokemonGuy101 11:12 AM [+] ::
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My wife Betsy proclaimed: "You have links in your Blog!" She mused that I now have a "linkin' blog." Whenever I wonder about things like that, I go here.
:: PokemonGuy101 2:41 PM [+] ::
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This just in!

I love the feel of Lorraine on my face, I love the taste of Lorraine on my lips ... Ohh it makes me feel good!
:: PokemonGuy101 12:20 PM [+] ::
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I can see Shirley now, Lorraine is gone. Have you ever seen Lorraine? How can you stop Lorraine?

Maybe the answers are here?
:: PokemonGuy101 9:47 AM [+] ::
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All this blundering about, and my twelve-year-old son has had it figured out all along!

"Americans always root for the undertaker."

Go figure.
:: PokemonGuy101 10:00 PM [+] ::
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Oh, and one more thing; An advertisement posted at a liquor store:

"Dark Creamy & Big Butt - $3.99"

Yummy! And you can buy it in bulk, apparently. The things you can get in this country. Makes me swell with pride to be an American.
:: PokemonGuy101 5:26 PM [+] ::
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Things I've seen today that I wish I hadn't.

- A hefty woman squishing around in thin-strapped Birkenstocks with white socks. Hello! Do you OWN a mirror?
- My "Inbox."
- My face in the mirror upon arising.

Things I'm glad I saw.

- Betsy's beautiful liquid green eyes. For that, I will always be glad.
- Andrew's impish little grin.
- That the coffee was ready!
:: PokemonGuy101 10:43 AM [+] ::
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The true definition of pathetic?

If you work in corporate America, you probably view the world from an eight-foot by eight-foot padded cell. You know you have it made when you can stand-up and look out a window.
:: PokemonGuy101 11:09 AM [+] ::
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In the Northern hemisphere, Autumn begins on the Autumnal Equinox. Spring begins on the Vernal Equinox. Why isn't Spring called Vern?
:: PokemonGuy101 10:12 AM [+] ::
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